Differentiated Leadership
Friedman’s Theory of a differentiated leader is a powerful concept that is rooted in the leader having a strong understanding of themselves and their purpose, which then allows the leader to stay connected to those core values and others in the organization while making unpopular or divisive decisions (Camp, 2010). Emotional triangles amongst peers can pop up during these unpopular decisions, and they can have incredible influence over an organization’s culture. If a leader is involved in emotional triangles, it can completely destroy the trust and respect that they have built as a leader with everyone in the organization, including the people they confided to in the triangle. It is imperative for the leader’s overall wellbeing and effectiveness that they can manage the stress and anxiety around them without adding those problems to their own list of worries.
Crucial Conversations takes the idea of a differentiated leader and creates a strategy for how to handle moments that are high stakes with strong emotions and opposing opinions (Patterson et al., 2015). These three factors take me back to August 2020 when we had our back to school meeting with our principal, via zoom due to the COVID pandemic. Teachers hadn’t been in school since the initial shutdown in March, and the last 2 months of that school year were far from adequate. There were over 100 staff members in this zoom, and opinions about the pandemic, masks and health risks spanned across the entire spectrum. There was such a high level of anxiety and emotions in that meeting, it would not have taken much to set people off. Our principal not only throughout that first zoom meeting but through the entire school year, embodied a differentiated leader who held crucial conversations with the staff. He was completely transparent with the staff and community about changes and updates, which created a “pool of shared meaning” (Patterson et al., 2015, 1:06). He recognized that everyone felt very different about remote learning and wearing masks, and created a safe environment where people felt that they could discuss complaints or concerns over different issues without him feeling pressured to change his opinion or decision. That year especially felt hard every single day, but through every challenge that the teachers faced, we felt seen and supported by our leader. That is the real power of a differentiated leader.
References
Camp, J. (2010, November 10). Friedman's Theory of Differentiated Leadership Made Simple. YouTube. Retrieved March 2, 2022, from
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., Mcmillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2015, August 20). Video Review for Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson. YouTube. Retrieved March 2, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFaXx3pgaxM
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