According to Crucial Conversations (Patterson et al., 2012), crucial conversations occur when 3 major characteristics come together: the stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong. This is an intimidating list of features going into a conversation, and it might be tempting to avoid the conversation altogether in order to avoid making the situation worse. However as a differentiated leader, it is vital that you are able to take on highly charged scenarios to continue the progress of your organization or project. Patterson et al. outline a strategy for recognizing and successfully engaging in crucial conversations with 8 important factors to consider (2012). 

 

1. Get Unstuck:

Implementing blended learning and authentic learning experiences will be challenging for even the models of the group, so I can go into this project fully knowing that I will be having crucial conversations with administrators, teachers, students and the community. My administration will have concerns and doubts about how authentic learning can engage all students in rigorous lessons while also addressing strict state standards and preparing students for the end of year state assessment. Many teachers, especially those that fall into the Not Yet and Never categories described in 4DX, will struggle to find purpose and meaning to changing acceptable lessons that they have used in the past (McChesney et al., 2012). Students and the community will struggle with the change of learning expectations and classroom environment involved with authentic learning and will voice concerns over the content and purpose of the change when it has never been taught this way. All of these concerns are valid and must be addressed in a crucial conversation. 

 

2. Start with the Heart

The most important takeaway from Crucial Conversations is that I need to create a safe environment for open dialogue. No issue can be solved if the other person feels attacked, unheard, unappreciated or misunderstood, and yet a safe environment starts with the leader focusing on themselves first. This may seem counterintuitive because if you are trying to convince a person to change their opinion, you might prioritize their thoughts and actions over your own. It is however essential that a leader starts a conversation from the heart with the right motivation and focus, which is not about winning the argument or being right but creating a dialogue that allows everyone to be heard and feel that they can contribute to a solution. 

 

3/4. Learn to Look and Make it Safe

In addition to starting with the heart, the leader needs to recognize when a conversation turns crucial. This will help the leader to focus on the steps outlined here to navigate an important and difficult conversation. The key to maintaining a safe environment is to continuously establish a mutual purpose and respect. Administration, teachers, and the community all share a mutual purpose of a strong education for their children, and when a conversation starts to veer off into an unsafe environment, returning to the mutual purpose will help ground the dialogue. Mutual respect can be reinforced by using contrasting statements like, “I don’t want to offend you, but I do want an improved relationship with you (Callibrain, 2015).”

 

5. Master my Stories

It is easy to create the worst possible stories in our minds to explain other people’s motivations behind their opinions. Not only may this be untrue, but it creates a hostile environment of you vs. them, instead of an open dialogue between two people with a mutual purpose and respect. Check in with yourself to ensure that your story is not creating a victim/villain narrative.

 

6/7. State my Path and Explore other Paths

Start with the facts. Because you have taken the time to clearly understand your goals and motivations, you can intelligibly present your facts with a conclusion that called for this crucial conversation, but this is only the beginning of the conversation. A crucial conversation is not successful if it is intended to only come from one side of the discussion. After sharing your facts and conclusion, encourage the other person to share their thoughts, feelings, and stories all while looking for signs that the environment is remaining safe. If you notice signs of an unsafe environment like silence and aggression, then you need to abandon the content of the discussion until you can reestablish mutual purpose and respect.  

 

8. Move to Action

A crucial conversation should end with a mutual understanding of the solution, which allows for both parties to move forward in agreement. This experience and these skills will create more moments of honest, open dialogue that will continue to push your organization forward.